Contentment

Contentment |ken’tentment|

noun

A state of happiness and satisfaction

I never knew beaches like this existed in New York. The sky coated in blackness. The moon glowing like a pearl right in front of you and I. Rays of light shine down from it like a UFO making its way to earth exposing just a portion of the ocean waters that ripple and gleam like silk and stretch to what our eyes make out as the edges of the earth, barely visible in the darkness of night. A scary but excitingly fascinating paradox. Like you.

Hours before we met by a pool in a million dollar mansion surrounded by energy and vibrations that were distantly familiar but difficult to transcribe into words. Much like those advertisements you see in middle America about what it’s like to be “the one” in the middle of it all, experiencing the high life, except this was reality and far from an advertisement. Breathing in a new experience and new place far too much of a cliche to peak my interest organically but somehow I ended up here; a subway, to a train, to a bus, to a ferry, to an island, to the edge of this pool in front of you.

Though a bit vulgar and forward in a drunken state I wasn’t off put by you (with a now developed relationship I understand that vulgarity is balanced by a deep moral compass). Once I pierced through the shell, I saw your heart light up as you word vomited about all of the meaningful things in your life. That last hour of the party we sat by the pool surrounded by at least four dozen people, but it was just you and I. I hardly remember speaking to anyone but you for 45 minutes.

Will the magic of this moment be left here on this island? I’ve been told that I could never fully enjoy things because I was always in the back of my mind waiting for them to end. Is this it? Does it all end here? That’s because in my mind perfection cannot exist undisrupted and so peacefully. My fear was strange, because I truly had no expectations, none at all, but to be in your presence. It was a strange kind of magic that still left me completely conscious and aware. Magic and total awareness; two other things I didn’t know could exist at the same time. When I close my eyes I can still hear the deepness of your laughs and see the whiteness of your teeth and broadness of your mischievous smile and the rich warm brown hues that make up your skin…… the casual smoothness of your voice when you call me “baby”. Remembering you when I close my eyes leaves me in an unwavering and unbreakable state of contentment.

It’s just a moment in time not meant for forever, not built for monogamous devotion, or contrived ideas of perfection but when the time comes for us to shift apart promise me you won’t forget me. “Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset, babe, red lips and rosy cheeks say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah-ha”

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